WHO IS THIS FOR?

June 16, 2025

Background

I apologize if my writing states the conclusions rather than the premises, making understanding difficult. I’ve added pictures and links so an imperfect yet roughly accurate mirror of my mental world might exist in yours.

My first life’s purpose is simple: to escape the fake world of suburbs, social media derivative life, automobiles which strangle the soul, supermarkets that are all vegetable oil and processed wheat flour derivatives arranged in packaging for appeal to the emotions rather than health. Despite a supermarket shelf having different brands, the underlying ingredients are the same. This modern world in the United States seems to present the appearance of choice rather than substantial difference. I feel that way in Mainland China too, but quite less in smaller countries. It likely has to do with population size.

About me

Why am I in this position?

1. Very little family support (significant illness on my mother’s side, father did not help me much), and did not live in an academically relevant locale during high school. At least we have a house (even if it is in a low tier city) before asset inflation kicked into hyperdrive.
2. Started in Mechanical Engineering, switched to Computer Science 3 semesters in, so I started actually coding around 2022-2023. Coincidentally there is a hiring slowdown in this industry.
3. Significant gastrointestinal health issues starting Winter 2022/2023 which put a damper on my motivation and energy.
4. I was also in school while COVID was a thing. You can take a look at my resume if you’d like to get a rough sense of my experiences.

Why am I writing this rather than just applying for jobs and networking and doing projects?

• I think I’ve learned a lot about the world at its most fundamental level, and I would hope to write this out so that others may learn and think about it, and this type of abstract thinking has always appealed to me, and I think I can do a combination: sharing my experiences but also designing a cool project. This website uses baseline grids, for example.

I don’t have debt due to scholarships and have around low 5 figures saved (25-35k range). Despite that, I still feel insecure as I lack consistent income plus family and community support. I spent my time traveling around trying to understand the world, build skills, and make income. Needless to say that I neglected personal relationships, in addition to finding it hard to actually connect to people because I feel that I have to simulate my emotions due to usually thinking in the world of ideas (which is not what people my age usually talk about) and that the emotional troubles I’ve endured really have no end to them, so to release them would be like putting C4 on a dam.

There won’t be any regrets of not traveling from me: I did an exchange program abroad, and I feel I already understand the basics of the world and other people.

The only thing I really have as an advantage is my own ability and understanding of things. To do this I need high mobility and high income.

My plan is to make software, travel around to hackathons and industry conferences, and create presentations online.

I’m hoping to settle in a cold climate in a developed city, which means at the very least a source of income and savings to be able to persistently rent a place, though that may be expensive.

I don’t think that’s a particularly unreasonable goal, though the ghosts of people I’ve known now working as rideshare and food delivery drivers, warehouse workers, and other such jobs haunts me.

Mostly speaking, this website is my personal playbook: reasonably reputable college, no debts, high focus on city quality and material life as opposed to emotions, interest in learning and community, software career, a need for order, reasonable skill at what I do.

But I hope to show a positive path for people that one day I might make it, and reject the notion of NEETing or “lying down.”

If you’re one of the people who took significant amounts of debt for a Master’s cash cow, or you may not be as skilled as you expect you are, or you went through college without any experience at all: I’m sorry, life is going to be challenging, and I don’t have any good answers for you, only that people live at certain levels of abstraction and awareness and that you might have to live in the undeveloped part. This notion of being “stuck” is probably more relevant for men than for women as societal inequality accelerates, but being a woman in a city with nobody comparable to date is probably equally as frustrating.

Destination

I hope for the restoration to nature, the feeling of being a human within a town rather than an ant within a tomb, the return to community, healthy rather than processed food, yet being able to be a part of all of this without feeling like the Amish or a relic in an older time. I do not see retiring in a remote dilapidated cabin as the acceptable version of this life.

It is the restoration to diversity and independence that I see as a future. All I can have is faith and hope that I might get there.